


life goals

by StarlightDragon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 02:10:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7295317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightDragon/pseuds/StarlightDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Winchester calls his long distance boyfriend Gabriel, and the two of them talk about their dream home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	life goals

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KaitlynSpeight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaitlynSpeight/gifts).



> So I haven't written anything in ages because writer's block has been being a little bitch but I need to get back into it so, I tried to do a thing. Dedicating this to Kait because her birthday present is gonna be late. Sorry bae, I promise it'll be worth it. <3

Gabriel dried his tears on the giant stuffed moose that took up most of the space in his bed, and quickly hit 'Answer' on the Skype call. He pasted on a huge grin, and while it didn't come as easily as it usually would have, it also wasn't completely fake - it would be hard for him not to smile when Sam was around. He only hoped Sam believed it.

"Hey, so, I totally burned my hand making pasta just now," were Sam's opening words, followed by, "Shit, Gabriel, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Gabriel scoffed, waving a hand randomly in the air. "Did you run it under cold water? That's what you're supposed to do with burns, right?"

"Gabriel." Sam fixed him with a stern look that managed to be just as fierce through the computer screen as it was in person. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's stupid," Gabriel mumbled, putting his hands over his face as though that was going to stop Sam asking him what was wrong.

Sam sighed, putting down his plate of pasta and giving Gabriel his full attention. Gabriel wished Sam were actually there to tug him into his lap and make him talk and maybe kiss him as a reward for when he did, but, there was no way that was going to happen right now.

"Gabe. Baby. Please tell me," Sam said in a patient voice.

Gabriel sighed as loudly as he could. "Right. Fine. So I was in Spanish class today. And we were doing conversation practice, like in pairs, and there were a bunch of conversation topics that we had to discuss, like, do you prefer puppies or kittens, that sort of thing."

"Puppies," Sam filled in the blank. "You like puppies better because they're more fun to play with and you like going on walks and running around with them and playing Frisbee on the beach."

Gabriel actually smiled at that, a real genuine smile at how well his boyfriend knew him. "Yeah. 'S right. But that one was fine. The problem was, the next question asked about what my ideal apartment would look like."

At this, Gabriel's voice dropped again, and his smile faded. 

"Right." Sam nodded, trying to figure out where this was going. "And what did you say?"

"In Spanish?" Gabriel frowned.

Sam knew this was a serious moment, but he couldn't help giggling. "Not in Spanish, you dork, I don't speak Spanish. A little German, but no real Spanish. The English translation will do nicely."

"Oh. Yeah. Of course. Well, I want it to be small, cause I feel like if there was too much space, it'd feel overwhelming, you know? I want just enough room for me and anyone who I might be living with."

"Small just like you," Sam smiled, picturing it now, gazing out into the distance, letting Gabriel's words paint the scene inside his head.

"I'd paint the rooms myself and they'd all be in different pastel colors. The kitchen would be yellow. My bedroom would be pink. The living room might be, like, a soft lavender, the bathroom would be a pale green, the hallway could be blue. And there's plants and big windows and those white floaty curtains that blow... in the breeze..."

Sam was smiling even wider by this point, and inside his head, he pictured himself standing next to Gabriel in the apartment. The two of them splattered in multicolored pastel paint, gazing out of the window as the curtains fluttered around them--

Sam was jolted out of the fantasy by the sudden realization that Gabriel was crying again, huge, horrible shuddering sobs that he was clearly trying to control but couldn't quite manage to hide. "Gabriel! Gabe, honey, sweetie, what is it?"

Gabriel didn't say anything for a while, and Sam tried to make soothing sounds, though they weren't anywhere near as effective when he couldn't brush Gabriel's hair out of his face and whisper them right into his ear. 

Gabriel clutched his stuffed moose to his chest and eventually he managed to calm down all on his own. He then stood up, picking up his laptop and turning it slowly three hundred and sixty degrees, so that Sam could see the full view of his room.

"This is where I live, Sam. The most obvious thing on my wall is an air vent. The paint's peeling. I don't own any hangers so my clothes are just in a pile in the closet. I have, like, five things in my kitchen so even when I eat food that's not Hot Pockets, it's not interesting, it's just pasta and tomato sauce and I can't do anything cool with other ingredients to make it taste good. My window doesn't close so even when it's the middle of winter I can feel the cold air and the rain is so loud it hurts my head, and there's no rug on the floor so my feet freeze every morning when I try to walk to the shower. It's just. It's not a home, Sam. It's just somewhere I exist. I love the apartment with the plants and the pastel walls but I don't love this place, I just don't have anything better."

Sam's heart broke at the look on Gabriel's face. It hurt so badly that he wanted nothing more than to reach through the computer screen and yank Gabriel forwards into a tight hug, but that wasn't possible, because Gabriel was in a whole different country and Sam was pretty sure he'd never felt as far away as he did right now. He barely knew what to say, he just knew that he wanted Gabriel to feel better than he did right now.

"Baby, I promise you you're going to have all that one day. You'll have your plants and your really good location with a good view of the city because I know you want that too, you don't even have to say that part, but you're in college right now. It doesn't happen for most people while they're in college. You'll graduate and get a job and then-"

"But I want it to happen now!" Gabriel burst out, and Sam could have sworn that he heard his boyfriend stamp his foot. "And I know that makes me sound like a five year old, and you can call me immature all you like cause I know people call me that all the time anyway, but it's alright for you! Your parents have that big house in the suburbs and the garden where you can go hunting for different cool insects and you lived there the whole time you were growing up and you can always go back there when you need a break. This is the thirteenth place I've lived, Sam! And that's not counting stuff like summer camp and sleeping on Balthazar's floor for a summer when we decided we were gonna start a band and all that shit! I've lived in so many places but I don't feel like I've ever had a home, not like you have, and that's why I was crying! Cause I know that I've got a bed and stuff and I should be happy about that cause I haven't always had that, but Sam, for once in my life, I really, really want a home."

He shook his head, turning away from the computer screen, and part of his brain yelled at him to end the call right then and there so that he didn't have to deal with Sam's reaction. He never opened up like that, not to anyone. Even though Sam was his boyfriend, Gabriel usually just thought it was easier, better for everyone if he just kept his stupid thoughts like this hidden.

Sam reached out and put a hand on the top of his laptop. It wasn't anything like putting a hand on Gabriel's shoulder, but they both understood the gesture.

"You tell me more about this home you're going to have someday."

Gabriel pulled a face. "What, you think that's going to do anything apart from make me feel even shittier than I already do."

"Yeah. You're gonna tell me about your home and then I'm gonna make sure you get it someday."

Gabriel pulled a face, and it hurt to turn his mind back to the class from earlier. It had been easier in Spanish, even though he wasn't very good at the language. It was fine, because whenever he didn't know how to say a word in Spanish, he'd just say it in English and move on so fast that he hoped his conversation partner wouldn't even notice. And the words had flowed so easily as he'd come up with so many more ideas than he'd expected for the home he dreamed of. Now, though, it seemed he'd managed to force the ideas into a dark corner of is mind, and it was painful trying to drag them back.

Finally, he found something, and said in a flat voice. "There's a couch. It's big enough for two people to lie side by side and cuddle, and it's squishy, comfortable enough that I don't have to literally live in my bed. And there's a big TV with an even bigger DVD collection. And a record player."

Sam placed a hand on the computer screen, Gabriel instinctively mimicking the movement, and Sam joined in, encouraging him. "They're positioned so that when you're there in the evenings after school or work, the light from the windows fall on you and warm you up and don't block the TV screen. And there's a pile of fluffy blankets for when we-you need extra warmth."

Sam broke off, looking horrified at himself, and he hastily tried to cover up his mistake, but from the look on Gabriel's face, he clearly hadn't managed it.

"Shit, Gabe, I didn't mean that, I know we haven't been together long and you're a long way and you don't like living with people and, yeah, I didn't mean any of that, I just got carried away, I'm not saying that I want-"

"Sam," Gabriel cut in, and for the first time all evening, he wasn't sad, not even a lingering loneliness at the back of his mind, just a sense of urgency and a desperate need to say what was on his mind.

Sam avoided his gaze.

"Sam. There's something else about my dream house."

Gabriel didn't get a response, so he kept talking.

"Every night I sleep in a massive canopy bed. In the mornings I get up and it's not hard to get out of bed and I go cook pancakes. My... my boyfriend is there. He forces me to put fruit on them so I get vitamins and I pretend to complain but I actually like it."

Sam glanced up, peeking through his fingers at Gabriel.

"It's you, Sam. My boyfriend is you. I want you to live with me. I said that. _Vivo con mi novio Sam_. That's what I told my partner. But what I didn't say, cause I would have no idea how to say it in Spanish, but I'll say it to you now... what I didn't say is... is..."

Gabriel broke off. He'd already said too much for one night. Didn't need to go expressing any more emotion.

"Is?" But Sam just looked so hopeful that Gabriel couldn't deny him anything.

"Is that I don't give a shit about the size of the windows of the color of the walls. And someone could give me the chance to live alone in this perfect apartment that I can picture in my head, that I've wanted for as long as I can remember... and I'd turn it down to live with you in a moldy corner of a rat infested cave. I just want to be with you. For real. In person, not long distance."

Sam made a choked noise, and it was his turn to struggle to hold back tears. They were silent, staring at each other, and it somehow managed to not be awkward.

"I want that too," Sam whispered.

"I graduate in two years," Gabriel said in a rush.

"I'll work evenings. I'll save up for a place."

"I'll move to wherever you go to law school."

"We could do this."

"We could really, really do this."

Gabriel let out a long breath, and his smile grew wider and wider as he did so. He didn't know if it would ever happen. He didn't know if they'd make it that long, or what else might happen in the meantime to stop the plan. But it was nice to dream, and nice to have something to look forward to.   

Both of them had homework that night, Gabriel still had to cook dinner, Sam had to clean his bathroom. But despite the drain on their respective electricity bills, they kept the call on, occasionally exchanging comments on what they were doing or just making eye contact and blushing as they blew kisses. Both of them thinking that one day, they might be able to do just this, without the screens in between them.

They fell asleep with their hands outstretched towards one another and soft, content smiles on their faces.

**Author's Note:**

> slide into my dms **casandsip.tumblr.com**


End file.
